Wow..... long time no update peeps! Sorry about that.....
This spring has been one of the most wonderful seasons of my life. In summary, I have loved KC and fallen deeper and deeper in love with Jesus, more than ever before.
After an extended fast/silence the Lord opened the eyes of my heart and I had an encounter with Jesus one night in February, that changed me forever. I saw Jesus, the Bridegroom. God told me that before that I had only known Him as Father - His caring nurturing love that grew me up and called me forth, but I had never known the love of Jesus, the Lover, Pursuer, and the one who is coming back for His bride. When I saw Him, we looked one another in the eyes, and then I realized I had never understood love. No human relation can compare to what I saw in His face and eyes, the burning fire. I saw who I was in His eyes, I was a gem in His hands, one who was always kept, one wholly His. I saw His jealousy over my life and that He always protected me even in darkness and trial. I knew His blood had truly washed me and there was no veil of shame between us - I looked Him straight in the eyes. No words seem enough, no words are able, but I was changed forever... and just that one glimpse of the man Im going to marry has set my heart forever to enter into this covenant, to which I am now betrothed. I dont just want a glimpse, I want to walk with him and be one with Him forever, in His holy city the new Jerusalem.
I also had a revelation that I will always be His. That was a process this spring and I cant articulate it, but I have utterly been ruined and utterly been marked. I now know deep within me, not just in my head, that I will always be His, never fall away, never be taken from Him, never go back. The same grace that purchased me, has kept and will keep me into the end. Its grace, its mercy, its His inititive to pursue me unto death, to have me even before I wanted Him. It was Him that saved me, it was Him that kept me, and all because He wants me, delights in me, and its written inside me now, and can never be taken.
I had a dream the past week where Jesus came to me and told me this again. I remember no face or form in the dream but I know His voice, from the indwelling Holy Spirit - and He said I'd always be His, my hearts been given and He'll never give it back it let it go. Its done. Im sealed.
The sr. retreat my class had from BCOM, I remember my friend Lydia giving me a word that the Lord had, "done a work in me that could never be undone." Similar to that was a a friend of mine had when praying for me - he's a blacksmith and he said he had a picture of a peice of pipe that had been through some much heat and pressure that I had been formed toward the Lord in such a fashion that i could never bend any other way, the pressure had strengthened and hardened me in heat to be utterly towards Him forever. I am finally at the place in my spirit where I KNOW this by revelation, not just in my head. Its true, I am sealed unto the day of the Lord! He keeps me until the end.
Aside from these inner wonders, life itself has been a joy and I've had a glorious time here.
I go to a tiny church inner city called the Prayer Dome - its pretty much all black, and I believe it is the place through which the Lord will fulfill His word to send revival to inner city, KC.
Every monday night I also attend ihop's inner city ministry called "Hope City" where we have a worship service with the poor and eat together. That has weekly been a highlight and Ive met so many wonderful people. Sunday afternoons I attend a tiny home-church like group from some of the key families at the PrayerDome. It's called "fellowship" and we share a meal, pray, and read in the word. Most of them are aged seasoned prophets and listening to how they hear the Lord, their dreams, and what they are learning has raised me up more in my giftings and as an intercessor.
Well this has been quite the long update so Ill peace out. thank you dear readers!
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