Past two days we've spent serving at Mother Theresa's sisters of charity. We've gone to the home of the dying and a home for the disabled.
holding an old womans tiny frame today, was almost like holding a child. the aged, skin covered bones, with old injuries -healed out of joint - bulged beneath the skin... she looked up at me, into my eyes, crying out, while i swabbed her open sores... i cried too. i wondered about her life on the street, before the sisters found her. i wondered why her injuries hadnt healed right, why she had sores, where her family is.
i think ive felt more connected to humanity, than ive ever been before, lifting up bodies and seeing people in their most desperate state - dying- without even the ability to meet their own basic needs. life, death, humanity, and God, all in a few days.
i could see myself in them. sometimes they would cry or laugh and i knew they were no different than me. why wasnt i born paralyzed or in a slum?
i often wept past few days out of pity & out of compassion.. but more i wept out of admiration for them, that they smile, have dignity, even while im taking off their soiled garments, changing bedpans, spoon feeding rice, and cleaning wounds.
i also wept because i was holding Jesus, as Mother Theresa described, in His "distressing disguise" of the poor. Why I have the priveledge and honor of touching His body is sheer grace.
During the time of Adoration Prayer, we sat with the sisters at the end of the day. the red candles flickered in their glass holders under Jesus on the cross. Silence.
I thanked God im in India. If anything these people ministered to me. I sat on those beds, held those hands, looking into their eyes, knowing they were not asking me for anything - but to simply BE me and to let them, be them. to love, because of jesus. THIS is my purpose. I wasnt born to climb a ladder of sucess or prove my existance. I dont need perfect hair or a billion friends... because all God wants is for me to be me, and to love others in the same relentless way. maybe these realizations are part of growing, part of simply letting God love me.
3 comments:
thanks for sharing! wish i could be there...your post made me emotional, so i was telling my co-worker about how you're working with the sisters of charity for a few days. they asked me if you're a nun. :) i got a good laugh out of that, haha.
Weeping and rejoicing with you.
"If anything these people ministered to me."
That's what I took away from India as well. I've been to the same place... Mother Teresa's dying and destitute. I remember a friend of mine used to sing over the women as she held them and looking into the eyes of the women as they lay on their cots. And seeing me in them as well.
Heheh... which reminds me Hope. Have you spent much time with any of the sisters? They are hilarious! When we were there, they sang worship songs (like new ones not hymns) and one of them was feisty and gave my friend's tush a good little loving smack. :)
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