MERCY

Last nite I had a sweet revelation.... I realized some things about God, from the work Ive been doing with the little dear babies.

The other day I was hanging out with them, andI went over to one crib to check on a little one because she cried. This sweet little girl is disabled, and so because she is immoble she gets left in her crib alot. (This bugs me and I try to pick her up and hold her when I can) Well the poor thing must have not been feeling too well because she had diarrhea and she was lying in her mess. I felt so awful lifting her up to change her, because I wish I could instantly make all of their lives perfect and I cant. Sometimes the babies are sick, or they cry because they are exhausted or emotionally spent with all they have faced; sometimes it makes me cry too. Anyways I picked her up, and pretty soon had her all nice and cleaned up and changed to lay her down to rest in a clean crib.

I realized something last nite remembering her - I saw myself in her position - but with the Lord. God was teaching me something mighty about His mercy & sweet grace. Oftentimes I forget how terribly helpless I really am - I couldnt save myself eternally, any more than I can help myself in present fears or struggles. Im helpless.

Growing up in a pretty religious background, it put me in a bad spot because although I knew alot about Jesus and loved His kingdom - I knew little about His grace and the enabling power of the Holy spirit. So I was stuck with a incomplete paradigm of God, and wrestled with alot of paralyzing fears of failure, it was just tormenting. Past few years since my freshman year at Bethany Gods been healing me by revealing the depths of His grace and POWER of His Spirit.

All God asks of us, is that we cry out to Him, like that sweet little girl wept for me to come to her in her helplessness. And if I, as a human being, wouldnt refuse her - how much MORE does God - who is perfect mercy and goodness - delight to pick us up, pull us out of our mess and transform our lives. This morning when I woke up I opened my Bible right to John 14 and my eyes fell on this passage:
"I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you..." (Jesus is talking about the promise of the Holy Spirit)
This is His promise. This is hope. This is His heart. God comes TO US. HE initiates it. Even when we were enemies of God, Christ died for us. He doesnt wait for us to get over our problems, fix our lives, and be in control. He comes to us, in the middle of our helplessness, our desperation, our need, and heals our brokeness.

This mercy is transforming me. The more that I learn to yield and give up, and trust HIM to change me, the more I see Jesus shine through my life. When I cant, instead of mustering up all my efforts and driving myself into exhaustion and fear - I give up - honestly before God - and pray - PULL ME THROUGH - and He changes me. This is our hope in Christ!

He is perfect mercy!