Time is Ticking

Im at a loss. My plans for next year have shifted and now I am uncertain of where the Lord is leading to me to prepare in my forerunner call. The House of Prayer I was planning on joining next year has gone through some shifts and I dont believe they have internships available presently. I am asking God if that leads me to join the community down in KC. I would like to do an internship at a House of Prayer in Jerusalem, as soon as possible, to be a watchman on the wall, declaring the word of the Lord over the land and asking Jesus to return as King - while being His hands and feet among the poor, telling them of the coming King. (http://www.jerusalempraise.com/website/)

Yet I know I need a consecrated season to be in the Word before I embark on that adventure. I would like to be in a community of likeminded believers. I want to store up His Word, like great wells, deep within me, resources I can tap into in the day of adversity. It may not feel like a day to prepare, but I do not want to find myself lacking in that day. I keep pondering Noah's faith in building the ark, surrounded by scoffers who had never seen it rain. So we also are called to prepare in a time few will recognize the signs of His coming.

This afternoon I have been laying facedown asking God for wisdom for next year. Where will I go? I am troubled because I feel so much urgency to find a community to prepare in. I have wept, telling Him that if He calls me home to just work and save for a car and serve in my church, Ill go, while reading revelation and praying also, but O how my heart longs to be in a community of prayer. Never has there been so many markable signs of the end of the age, as my generation. If we are not on the doorstep we are at least in very clear sight of His return. I almost feel like Ill die if I have to be in the secular work world another year, but Ill go if He sends me. I know I wont have much money and it doesnt matter where, I just want to get His Word in me.

I had a dream a few weeks ago I felt was about EndTimes. In the dream it was a dark and terrible night, I was with a few christian friends and we were fleeing. The "giants" where coming - some evil foe bent on destroying believers. I raced into my friends house where I was staying, knowing I was packing the last possessions I would ever carry, in my pockets. Me and my friend Christi also took orphans with us. In the dream there were three little children that looked very similar to some of the babies I cared for in Nepal. They were in her home and unless someone took them that night, they would be in the hands of the enemy. I scooped up the smallest one and said she was to be mine to care for. It was raining outside and I was really concerned how I was going to keep her warm and dry in the rain. I took my little green Bible, and then the most sobering and intense regret hit me like a wave - I thought, "They are going to take my Bible when they catch me, and I didnt even memorize like I wanted to. And how will I teach this child the Word of God?!" The dream ended with us racing out the backdoor into the woods on foot, while the giants were appearing on the horizen to search for us.

I awoke so startled that I couldnt remember where I was for several minutes. I felt such shock and regret and couldnt get my bearings. It felt as though the end of the world as I knew it. I thought I was still running for my life in the woods and rain. I knew it was a prophetic dream of times to come, and the needed preparations. I also felt God was reminding me of the commitment I made in Nepal to adopt someday, when He gives me that window. If I am to prepare my future children I DO NOT have time to waste. Also, today my friend Sara told me that prophetically a "baby" in dreams sometimes represents a new thing or ministry or door. Perhaps the Lord is telling me that unless I prepare in His Word I will not be able to carry out His mandate for works of justice, and to the poor. I am not certain what the dream meant, I have to pray more, but either way, the message was clear: PREPARE OR YOU WILL BE FOUND LACKING.

Someday soon I may be sitting in a jail cell, counting down the days since the antichrist exalted himself as god, until the day I know my Lord will surely come for me. I want to be able to strengthen myself in the Word, to recite the gospels to my brothers and sisters with me and cont. to declare His coming out loud from Revelation. I will recount His words and remember He will come! He will bring justicefor His elect who cry out day and night. Heaven will empty out behind the Son of man blazing in glory, and I will meet Him in the sky in my new body, as we march toward Jerusalem.

Sobering stuff, no...? Surely, He will come.