Shepherding

The Lord taught me alot on internship about "my story." In essence, He showed me a clear picture of the ways He has brought and is bringing restoration.

One facet of my heart that needed healing went back to highschool. That was a time I was sort of put in a position of "shephard" or "mentor" for many people, while I was still immature and needing leadership myself. This was such a struggle and set up a pattern in my life of not asking for help, independance, isolation, and taking everything upon myself. I have spent a great deal of time not living consistently in community, and this is something I'm allowing God to change.

So I am stepping into a season where I have asked the Lord to be my shepherd, to restore when I walked alone or had no spiritual cover. I have asked Him to reveal my "shepherds" and to show me the circle He has given. Being back on campus this theme has resonated daily...

Last nite I had the chance to share with the elderly founders of Bethany about my internship. A room full of precious godly giants that I deeply admire, listened, and then gave feedback. (missionaries who gave up everything to pool their resources and live in community seeking revival many years ago, thus birthing my college) Then they all gathered in a circle around me and laid hands on me to affirm, bless, and lift me before the Lord. The words they spoke over me were really powerful... I sat back and realized with wonder that God was showing me my shepherds as I asked Him to. I've also been visiting with Nita, the head of the Global Prayer department on campus, and other leaders on campus to open my life to their counsel. No more do I want to walk alone, I was created for community, and created to be cared for, and to care.

It is also amazing to be shepharded in a sence, by the greater student body and community at BCOM. Falling asleep last nite it was comforting to hear the sound of my friends Lydia and Amy's muffled voices on the other side of the dorm wall, with Erin asleep across the room. It is truly beautiful to be back with my class, I am so thankful for them, for this campus.