SILENCE

Silence.

A new form of fasting and contemplation I have had the priveledge of practicing of late; it has taught me a great deal. What a great gift!

My sences are awakened in long-practiced silence. Ceasing verbal chatter can guide one's inner life into agreement with Jesus, which stirs a new ability to enter back into the outer life with clarity and joy.

I feel like my sences are truly awakened while my lips are sealed. Gazing out my window at the snowflakes soundlessly alighting on the rooftop shingles, causes my soul to leap for joy! I am finally quiet enough to begin to "hear" the speech Creation pours forth. The song of nature is becoming a symphony which astounds me. I love the chatter of sparrows on the powerlines. I am comforted by the rustle of leaves in the trees. Equally as awe inspiring is nature's silence. Have you ever sat without a word in a dusty dull afternoon sunbeam?

This silence has brought great rest to my soul. I do believe I was designed to BE in inner quietness. Yet living in a world careening into a godless chaos- i scarcely know how to quiet my being before my Maker.

In evenings now I like to just sit before a lone candle, listening to the hail or rain tapping the roof, and the wind rattling the windowpanes. I fix my heart, not to waste the inner life looking at self but upon the face of Christ. I am waiting for Him to speak, asking Him to teach me to LISTEN.

Sometimes I sing a hymn or two, I've taken up the Baptist Hymnal in great delight. Truly it is a weapon of righteousness, and feels like getting back to my roots! Singing words is different than speaking words for some reason.
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If out of the heart the mouth speaks, than in silence I face my heart with the Holy Spirit.

The things that emmerge are at times frightful, but for believers there is always a place for it all to die - the cross. I am learning to quickly yield each fear, anxiety, unrest, fleshly thing or wasted wandering thought. I am dying to my complaining, dying to all foolish, silly, and godless talk. Id rather be like Samuel whom, the Lord let not one of his words fall to the ground.

I would rather speak ten words annointed in the testimony of Jesus, than fill a day with my pointless chatter. The full strength of my personality was not meant for selfish gain - to have people laugh at my jokes or admire my stories; rather my speech should only be a witness deflecting glory unto Christ.

In silence I am learning to die to my selfishness. When I cant talk to my roommate, and we are driving in the car, I must learn to listen. Its nausiating to admit but Ive discovered how focused I am on my own desire to share than genuine interest in the other's heart. Its frightful to catch one's self in conversation, busy formulating mentally the next verbal responce rather than quietly focusing on the other's words to actually listen and HEAR.

Jesus listened. He listened first to the Father. He was in constant communion with His Abba, and He only spoke what He "heard." None of His speech was unto Himself or His gain or purpose. And He genuinly listened to OTHERS. He sat with them. He gazed beyond the lattice of their words to the heart behind the conversation. He saw the very person before Him and reached out to love them and call them into truth. This was why countless chronicles of His conversations are Him shocking hearers by unveiling the secrets of their hearts, or cutting to the core issue behind their questions or statements. He knew how to listen, He looked to the heart. He also practiced silence. He was like a lamb, silent, before accusers. He did not defend Himself.

I believe silence will be a form of fasting I am called to practice regularly the rest of my life. It has countless benefits and will bear much fruit, but only if done in the power of the Holy Spirit. Silence in of itself cannot do a thing for me, just as fasting from food cant do a thing apart from the Holy Spirit -its just a means to and end, that end being the work of the Holy Spirit.

Truly Ive already "spoken" to much here. I'll close off. Blessings dear friends!